Airplane jokes have been a rich source of material for stand up comedians for decades. Air travel is just one of those things that everyone can relate to and also has tons of little quirks to poke fun at. You’ve probably memorized some of the cliche jokes to the point where you could recite entire standup routines including these classics:

• What’s the deal with airline food?
• Why don’t they make the entire airplane out of the black box?

If there is a comedy hall of fame, those airplane jokes are retired in it. Fortunately, there is plenty more airline humor to make you chuckle. Below are three unique takes on the miracle of modern commercial air travel. Watch and enjoy.

Louis C.K. explains why absolutely nobody has the right to complain about flying (the whole thing is funny, but skip to about 1:40 for the stuff about flying):

Who could argue against Louis C.K.? Flying is pretty unbelievable when you think about it. You are moving through the air 30,000 feet above the Earth going 600 miles per hour. Yet we still find tons of stuff to complain about. Louis C.K. makes this point brilliantly in the clip

Jerry Seinfeld takes you through an entire flight experience in classic Seinfeld style:

Jerry Seinfeld is the master of observational comedy, pointing out the funny bits of all the little things we never think twice about. While we are miserable being shuffled from line to line in the airport, Jerry is writing airplane jokes in his mind.

If you’ve ever come back to the US trying to bend the rules of customs, you’ll get a kick out of this one. Also if you just like to laugh, this clip is for you.

Are there any other classic airplane jokes that we are forgetting?

by Rease Kirchner

We have all run into an unpleasant airline employee at some point. I want to let it be known that I have met several pleasant ones as well. I also have a pretty good idea of why these employees are so crabby, this letter is just a fun way to let them know that I’m on their side.

Dear Surly Airline Employee,

First of all, let me just apologize. I am sorry you have had a terrible day, week, year and likely, better half of your life. I realized you have probably seen a thousand other people here today, many of them as surly as you and likely the cause of such unpleasantness, but give me a break. I am approaching you with the best of intentions. I do not wish to argue with you, blame you for my problems, or ask for any miracles. I just want you to do your job. Please refrain from treating me like a criminal or the cause of your personal anguish. I do not appreciate your over-zealous inspection of my luggage that I know is regulation size, nor do I appreciate your heavy sighs that follow my every word.

I realize that you do not create the rules, but please do me a favor and recognize the absurdness of some of them.  Yes, I realize that person in front of me should have removed the leftover ketchup packet from their jacket pocket, but do we really need to let that person’s stupidity ruin all of our days? Does it have to result in an extra invasive pat down for me? I am but an innocent bystander of the ketchup fiasco.

I think we can both agree that people who bring oversize carry-on bags are obnoxious. These fools have made it past countless signs, size testing displays and no doubt have heard and seen all the warnings. However, one or more of these idiots will inevitably make it onto the flight. They will annoy us both as they slam their massive bags into far more space than they are allotted. You hate them and so do I. Why is it, then, that you feel the need to single me out? I, final zone boarding passenger with my meager backpack which happens to hold my laptop, am not responsible for the oversize carry-on buffoon. I suggest you take your anger out on them instead of getting pissy with me when I calmly explain that I will not be checking my laptop bag.

Oh, surly airline employee, please do not take offense to this. I know you run into thousands of assholes, each and every day. People that want to bring their fruit basket overseas, children who throw peanuts at you, passengers that treat you as their personal servant and, worst of all, the people who are having a terrible day and think it is simply all your fault. I am merely asking you to remember that some of us are not miserable jerks, so give us a chance to smile politely, follow the rules, and make your life just a little bit easier. Also, let it be known that you have an ally should you wish to take revenge on any unpleasant passengers, we’d make an excellent team.

Sincerely,

A traveler with good manners

Rease Kirchner a staff writer/Travel Adviser for Travelated. She is a US citizen currently living the ex-pat life in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She is bilingual and an experienced traveler. She loves gaining and sharing knowledge of local cultures, customs and adventure. Her blog Mi Vida en Buenos Aires documents her life as a foreigner.

Simple question: Which airline do you prefer to fly with? Do you feel any loyalty toward a certain airline, or is the cost of your ticket the only thing you care about when you book your flight?

Vote for your favorite airline in the poll below, and let us know why you prefer it.

CRAWLEY, England, Oct. 4 /PRNewswire/ — British Airways is to increase the number of flights to the Caribbean starting from March 27, 2011 due to the success of its long-haul leisure routes departing from London Gatwick.

The airline continues to show its commitment to the Caribbean with a total of 15 destinations to choose from, making it even easier and more convenient than ever before for customers to book their dream Caribbean holidays.

Flights to Barbados will increase from 10 to 12 services a week, Antigua will increase from five to six services a week and the St Lucia – Port of Spain service will increase to daily flights from five a week. Plus, new route Cancun, only to be launched in November 2010, is increasing from two to three services for summer 2011.

Customers can relax on white, sandy beaches enjoying a delicious Caribbean breeze during their holidays in Antigua. For those seeking stunning rainforest scenery coupled with tumbling waterfalls and idyllic beaches, St Lucia may be just the perfect island. The newest Caribbean destination in British Airways’ extensive network is Cancun which is already proven to become a steady customer favourite. It is as famous for its crystal clear seas and Mexican hospitality as it is for its countless archaeological sights like the famous Tulum ruins and Chichen Itza.

British Airways is also increasing its flights to Tampa from five to seven a week, providing customers with the perfect gateway to visit Florida’s Gulf Coast to enjoy holidays in Florida, including hot spots such as Clearwater and St Petes, Fort Myers, Sarasota and Longboat Key, Naples, Marco Island and Sanibel Island. The airline features a choice of hotels from famous landmark venues to historic city centre hotels and properties in their Prestige Collection. Family holidays are available at the 4* Pink Shell Beach Resort and Spa in Fort Myers which offers an undersea themed pool. The 4* Longboat Key Club and Resort in Longboat Key allows travellers to enjoy the hotel’s own 45 hole golf course while the 4* Sheraton Sand Key Resort in Clearwater offers the perfect escape.

Another highlight recently announced includes a new direct flight to Buenos Aires rather than via Sao Paulo. Buenos Aires and Sao Paulo will have their own daily direct flights from 2011 on. Currently the route stops first in Sao Paulo before going on to Argentina’s capital.

About British Airways:

British Airways plc offers a wide range of worldwide destinations – including Florida holidays, hotels, flights, car rental and experiences. Customers can save time and money with ba.com when booking ATOL protected holiday packages. Passengers are offered added peace of mind to their holiday plans and the security of travelling with British Airways. British Airways plc constantly seeks to exceed customers’ expectations, both in terms of the value for money and quality of the service provided.

Source: PRNewswire

Even though the number of people flying is down, the revenue of U.S. airlines is going up. During the first six months of 2009, the U.S. airlines have collected $3.8 billion (with a ‘B’) for fees and surcharges such as, pet carrying fees, cancellation fees, baggage check fees, etc. Checked baggage fees are doing especially well for the airlines. Revenue from baggage fees alone was $1.24 billion dollars. The supposed reason for the increase in fees, or addition of new fees, is to offset the current downturn in air travel since 9/11/01. I would not expect the fees to go away, even if air travel picks back up in the future. The airlines are making too much money off of these fees to quit charging them, even if business does pick up. But it seems to reason, that if ticket revenue increased, and the fees were meant to offset the previously low ticket revenue, the fees should drop off. Perhaps that is just too logical for the airlines to pick up on that.

• Source: www.usatoday.com

If you are looking to travel on some of the busiest travel days of the season, be prepared for another surcharge on your ticket. United Airlines and Americans Airlines each added a $10 surcharge on most of their tickets for the following busy travel days: November 29th (Sunday after Thanksgiving), January 2nd, and January 3rd. The charge is technically a “fuel surcharge,” but it seems that the airlines are really just looking to hit you in your wallet, just for traveling during the holiday season. If you plan on traveling by air for the holidays, perhaps you could choose travel dates that don’t include these three special days. Your wallet will appreciate it.

Source: www.msnbc.com

For busy business travelers, time spent in the air can be a waste. Stuck 30,000 feet above ground in a communication blackout is not ideal considering the old adage “time is money”. That may be changing soon however, since most airlines in the continental United States are testing and rolling out in-flight internet access.

Many major airlines in the US, including American Airlines, Airtran, JetBlue, and Southwest just to name a few, are either quickly rolling out the service, or starting to test the service on a limited number of planes. Airline industry experts seem to agree that offering internet access during flights could be a win-win situation for passengers and airlines.

For passengers, high speed internet access would allow email checking, video streaming, and everything the internet offers. This would allow business travelers to do work, and leisure travelers to relax with streaming music or internet surfing.

For airlines, high speed internet offers a new stream of potential income in a tough economic time. Fees are expected to be around $10 for internet access during a single flight. If widely adopted, high speed internet could make a significant impact on struggling airlines’ profits.

Source: CNN.com

New legislation being debated in the US Senate seeks to limit the amount of time that passengers are forced to wait in cramped planes on a tramac waiting to take off. The bill is being referred to as a “passenger’s bill of rights,” and one provision in the bill would allow passengers to have the option to leave their planes after three hours of being stuck in a take-off queue.

Most travelers have heard the horror stories of planes sitting on runways for six hours or more waiting to take off. This can be unbelievably uncomfortable, not to mention all of the connecting flights that will be missed when flights are delayed this long. Needless to say, advocates of the flying public are pushing hard for new laws to prevent this from happening in the future.

Stiff resistance from airline lobbies exists to this legislation, so there is sure to be a long fight before anything comes to a vote or gets signed by the president.

Source: Associate Press

Next time you fly, you can feel safer knowing that the punishment for unruly passengers is becoming more and more severe. The FAA reports an average of 80 unruly passenger aircraft incidents annually, with a total of over 900 over the past five years. These number don’t even reflect the all of the incidents, only the major ones. Many more less severe confrontations take place over delays, missing baggage, etc.

Confrontations can happen in many ways:

• the most popular confrontation occurs when the flight attendant refuses to serve an already intoxicated passenger another beverage
• failing to comply with airline policies, such as staying seated when the seat-belt light is on or turning off personal electronics when the plane is taking off or landing
• fewer meals, snacks, and drinks, smaller seating space, more delays, more fees, and less fresh oxygen on board the aircraft are also triggers for confrontation

Interfering with a crew member can result in a civil penalty fine of up to $25,000. If criminal laws are also broken, the fine will be higher and jail time will most certainly be involved.

Source: www.cnn.com