Are You The Leader of the Expats? Part Two

Who needs shirts?

The first picnic I organized brought together a wide variety of people from all different countries and backgrounds. It was fun to sit around, eat snacks, chat, etc. However, I found conversation to be slightly difficult with one guy in particular. This guy showed up completely shirtless. Now, it was a warm day, but not scorching. Plus, I had arrived early and claim a large, shady area. I understand some dudes feel outdoors+sun=free pass to take off your shirt, but this guy didn’t even have a shirt with him. As he went on and on about his country, how he arrived in Buenos Aires, and laid around, displaying his admittedly impressive abs, all I could think was “did he walk all the way here without a shirt? Did he ride the bus without a shirt? How does one come to the decision to leave the house and go to a social gathering without a shirt?” I later found that it was very likely that he did walk there shirtless, as on a totally different day, I spotted him strolling through a busy area of the city, no shirt on his body or in his hands.

Martial Arts and Fraud Investigation

The most awkward part about the meetups I organized was often the beginning, when only 1 or 2 people are there and we have nothing in common. This is what happened with a couple I’ll call Butch and Maggie. The man walked up and said “I’m Maggie and this is Butch!” and then burst into a very loud laugh before he added “betcha won’t forget our names now!” This was a bad joke that I was willing to overlook, but he wasn’t done using it. Butch introduced himself as Maggie and his wife as Butch to every single person who came to the meet up and every time, he laughed like it was the funniest thing ever.

He also gave a very odd business pitch to basically everyone. He went on and on about how he is a fraud investigator and had come to Buenos Aires because it was basically the place to be for fraud. This was a strange topic to choose when speaking to a bunch of expats who are likely working for companies who pay them under the table. Butch also explained that he and Maggie were both black belts and experienced Martial Arts instructors. I wish I had a visual to go with this story, as Butch and Maggie were both, how do I put this lightly? Slightly rotund. Honestly, they didn’t look particularly comfortable sitting on the ground, so imagining them throwing some punches and kicks was a bit amusing. Butch handed out business cards for his fraud investigation and martial arts services like they were hotcakes – never realizing that people were laughing at him.

Fishing for friendship

As the organizer of the events, I tried to be nice and friendly to everyone, regardless of how well I thought we would get along outside of such gatherings. I met a lot of cool people and I did genuinely enjoy helping people get settled in Buenos Aires, so when people asked for my email or number, I usually gave it pretty willingly. This backfired only a couple of times. There was once a girl, I’ll call her Meredith, who ended up as part of a whittled down group that had lasted much longer than the original dinner and after dinner drinks. Everyone in that group became good friends of mine – with the exception of Meredith. I had nothing against Meredith, I just didn’t connect with her. She had an odd sense of humor, one of those gasping laughs, and rambled a lot. After that night, I didn’t plan on talking to her again. She had other plans. She would send me texts, asking what was going on, if I wanted to hang out, etc. All totally legit and normal, all of which I declined for one reason or another. Then there was the weird friendship day text.

In Argentina, there is a día de amigos or Day of Friends. On this day, Meredith texted me asking “hey…what exactly is día de amigos? I explained that it is a day when Argentines go out with their very best friends, usually only the friends of their gender. Girls ditch their boyfriends and hang out with their best girl friends, guys ditch their girlfriends and hang out with their bros. It’s a day to hang out with your best friends. Meredith responded with a series fo texts that fished harder and harder for an invite to hang out. She said she wasn’t sure what she was doing, but could definitely go out that night. The she added that she had some tentative plans but the people were flakes so maybe she should make other plans. Finally, she asked what I was doing. I actually had a date that night (with a foreigner, thus allowing us to break the no dates on día de amigos rule) so I was able to bail. I felt really bad, but even more so uncomfortable by her awkward fishing.

I really do miss the community of expats in Buenos Aires and I truly enjoyed organizing the meetups. I’m also sad I won’t be having any of these odd encounters on a regular basis anymore.

Rease is a US citizen who fled the Midwest in favor of ex-pat life in Buenos Aires, Argentina. After 1.5 years of living and working abroad, she has recently relocated back to the US for a new adventure that doesn’t involve working in an office. She is bilingual and is very capable of cussing you out in Spanish. She loves gaining and sharing knowledge of local cultures, customs and adventure, and she especially loves getting sassy with anyone who gets in her way. Her favorite place in the world is any artisan ice cream shop in Argentina.