My journey through Grass is Greener Syndrome

Many thanks to Sheryll at The Wanderlust Project for her support and encouragement!

The only way to describe life with me is ‘roller coaster.’ Poor Alex–he puts up with so much. We came out to Vegas in July 2010 to pursue our dreams of travel and independent living, and we did find some success. However, last winter I started feeling trapped, feeling like I needed to get out of the house every day, feeling like I wanted (gulp) a normal job. My old way of life started looking pretty good again, because it was comfortable, familiar, and predictable. So I set about finding a comfortable, familiar, and predictable job.

And I got one.

I went to work for a large online retailer as a content writer, and I was moderately happy. Steady income, steady work, new friends. I had a place to go every day, and I got to work for a really awesome company. But then seeds of doubt crept in–was this enough? Was working at a for-profit company truly what I wanted? I wasn’t making any money there, but the people I worked for certainly were, and that really started to bother me. So I started looking for greener grass, and I found a really nice-looking pasture.

So I went.

This past August, I started teaching high school English again, at a school that was supposed to be top-tier and problem-free. Unfortunately, I was sold a bill of goods, and many of the teachers felt that way. However, the other teachers weren’t as stupid/brave as me, and I am the only one who quit.

Yes, I quit a good-paying job after the school year had started.

I do have some guilt about that, as leaving once the school year has begun is just unthinkable to a teacher… but I did it. My mental health was in limbo, and I came home in tears more often than not. So after school one Tuesday, I quietly packed my things and walked out.

I walked out.

This is a job I never should have taken in the first place. When I left teaching at the end of the 09-10 school year, I told myself that I was done, that while I was good at teaching, it just wasn’t for me. However, Grass is Greener Syndrome got hold of me, and I missed the solid income I made as a teacher with a master’s degree plus 35 graduate credit hours. I gave in to that weaker side of all of us that says we must take the safer path–it was the wrong decision.

The magic of physically writing down goals

So there I was just yesterday, my steady income stream gone, trying to figure out what direction to take next. Alex did his best to talk me through it, but talking through things isn’t enough for me–I need to write things down. Recognizing that, he directed me to page 53 of Tim Ferriss’s The 4-Hour Work Week. This section of the book guides the reader through creating a list of goals–things you want to have, things you want to be, and things you want to do in a specified time frame.

I took the book and my journal out onto the balcony to take the time to construct a list. Sounds like an easy task, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not, especially for sufferers of Grass is Greener Syndrome. I sat out there for hours, trying to distill what it is, exactly, that I want. Not what my family wants for me, not what Alex wants, not what society wants, what I want. I needed a time frame, so I chose July 1, 2012, the date our lease ends. I wrote down everything I wanted within that time frame, from having an iPhone to recapturing French fluency to living in Europe.

Setting these goals wasn’t enough–I then followed the book’s instructions to figure out exactly how much monthly income I need to make these thing happen. I won’t go through the details of my finances, but this is what it comes down to: $2,976 a month. That’s it. That’s all I need. Is that really so much?

From the standpoint of someone who very recently walked out on a job that paid more than that, it seemed like a lot. Then I thought about it more–i_s that really so much?_ No. Travelated and the other sites I work on are profitable. That profit can be ramped up, especially as I now have more time than ever to dedicate to it and especially now that I have a fire lit under me to do so.

A new goal

Of all the goals I created, the one that lights the fire the most is the desire to go to Europe. I’m not talking a suburbanite 1-week mini vacay where we hit all the touristy spots and then call it a day, I mean spend some real time there. Travel slow. Perhaps become expats. However, I am not in this alone–Alex and I are a pair. I wanted to go live there for three months or more, but he’s not quite willing to make that kind of commitment to a continent he’s never seen, which is understandable. So we ~want to go~ are going to go for 30 days to start. We’ll see what happens from there. I don’t know where exactly we are going to go or where we’ll stay, but that’s the fun part, the part I get to dream about and dwell on for the next nine months.

On July 1, 2012, we are flying to Europe.

I’ve made action plans to accomplish each of these goals by July 1, and I intend to do so. Quite a few of the travel bogging friends I’ve made have also completely altered their lives for extended travel in Europe, so I have plenty of people to learn from. I am excited to have a major goal and a deadline, and to know that I made that goal freely and without the influence of other people’s expectations.

On our way to July 1, I’ll be working harder than I ever have in my entire life on the network of sites that Alex, Rease, and I have built. I’ll be visiting my sister’s family in Georgia, a small art village in Utah, and a fantastic resort in Sedona. I’ll grow my fingernails out, get my French skillz back, and read as much as I want to. I’m going to do some kickass sun salutations and run like a pro, become an independent ebook author, and finally learn how to properly use my camera. The next nine months are going to be insanely busy, but they are also going to be jam-packed with amazingly good times.

Perhaps I have finally found a cure for my Grass is Greener Syndrome.