by Emily C. Sims
Over the last week, I’ve had a few of those Stopped moments, those moments when you watch the leaves in the wind just a little bit longer, when you stare straight into the sun as you drive instead of squinting away, when you close your eyes and breathe the Las Vegas heat straight into your lungs and hold it there.
When something irritating happens, I can fly off the handle. When something truly terrifying is on the horizon, I grow calm and reflective. It’s the paradox of the woman, I suppose. When you show up late for dinner I’m likely to throw plates across the room, but when I’m about to find out if I have a significant, life-altering disease, I just want to sit quietly and feel the sun. I want to hold it in my skin.
This evening I’m going for an MRI, and I’m leaving for Mexico on Monday. The Mexico trip was planned before any of my medical concerns creeped up, but at the moment it feels rather serendipitous. If my doctor calls tomorrow with bad news, I don’t care. I’m going to a fabulous resort in Baja California, so everything is going to be all right.
My Mexico adventure will be my very first time to that country, and I will be enjoying a luxury resort, fabulous food, and beautiful scenery on an all-expenses paid, escorted press trip. Depending on what I learn from the results of my MRI, I will view it as either a celebratory excursion or a time to take my mind off of what awaits me in the future.
I am not scared, nor do I feel anxious. I feel strangely calm, when in all honesty, I expected to come unhinged. When it comes to immediate concerns, I tend to be rather pessimistic, but when it comes to long-term concerns, I prefer to be a best-case-scenario kind of girl.
But if this hurricane gets anywhere near La Paz, I’m going to effing break some plates.
Photo credit: La Paz, Don’t Worry Be Happy, by JanHamlet
Emily is an ex-teacher, ex-obituary writer, and ex-yuppie. In her free time, she volunteers for the aviation charity Wings of Hope, writes children’s stories, and pretends like she knows how to use her fancy camera. Emily has lived all over the United States and France, and currently she resides in Las Vegas.