Italian Pick Up Lines You Don’t Want To Hear

Featured, Laugh Rich. — By Rease K on January 9, 2012

By Chiara Tarenzi

Featured photo from Wikimedia Commons

For all those female travelers heading to Italy: this is what happens when you are out and about and meet the Italian stallions! They leave very little to the imagination.

1. “Ciao, io sono (insert name) e tu devi essere…meravigliosa!”

Hi, I’m (insert name) and you must be…beautiful!

Answer:  “Veramente, io sono (name) e tu..mi dai noia!”

Actually, I am (name) and you are…bothering me.

 

2.  “Come ci si sente?…Ad essere la più bella nel locale!

What does it feel like?…Being the prettiest girl in the club!

“Come ti senti tu, ad essere il più scemo del locale?”

Answer: What does it feel like for you, being the lamest guy in the club?

 

3. “Hai dimenticato qualcosa – Me!”

You forgot something – Me!

Answer: “Hai dimenticato qualcosa anche tu! Le palle!”

You forgot something too! What? Your balls!

 

4. “Scusa, ci conosciamo?”

Excuse me, do we know each other?

Answer: “Si, per questo ti ignoro!”

Yes, that’s why I’m ignoring you.

 

5. “Assomigli molto alla mia quarta ragazza!
(Quante ne hai avute?) Tre!”

You look like my fourth girlfriend! (How many did you have?) Three!

Answer:“Guarda! Ho appena visto la tua quinta!”

Look! I just saw your fifth girlfriend!

 

6. “I tuoi occhi sono come un oceano bellissimo!”

Your eyes are like a beautiful ocean.

Answer “I miei occhi sono castani, idiota!”

My eyes are brown, idiot!

7. “Ciao bella principessa!”

Hello gorgeous princess!

Answer – (if he’s prince material):”Ciao mio principe!”
Hello my prince!

 

8. “Sono già pazzo di te!”

I’m already crazy about you!

Answer: “Sei pazzo, punto.”

You are crazy, period.

9. “Sei un angelo caduto dal cielo!”

You are an angel fallen from the sky!

Answer:“Credo che sia tu quello caduto del cielo e che ha picchiato la testa.”
I think you are the one who fell from the sky and hit his head.

 

At some point they just get bored of even trying to talk and you get the Italian version of Rease’s Argentine Honk-Happy Driver:

10. The International “Honk! Honk!”

From cars/buses/trucks driving by you. Whenever you are wearing a dress or a skirt (any length), you become eligible for this kind of amusing approach. Exposed ankles are enough to tick these Italian sweethearts off.

Don’t be too harsh to judge my men, though; there are some really good guys in the bunch. They might have to resort to using these cheesy pick up lines, but they would love to show you around the country, teach you Italiano, and invite you to stay. Your only job is to do the sorting.

May the falling in love or running away begin!

 

Chiara Tarenzi is a poltical science student in Milan, Italy, hoping to become a very obnoxious journalist some day. She has a very large family split apart by the Atlantic Ocean: one side in Italy and the other in Philadelphia. She is a total american wannabe so BEWARE! She is also a beginner runner of half-marathons (very slow!) and intends to travel all over the globe to race and explore. Her favourite place in the entire globe has to be Crans Montana, an adorable small town hidden in the Swiss mountains.