Dear People of Las Vegas…

I love Las Vegas, I really do. I am thoroughly enjoying my time in Sin City, and I never regret for a second setting out on that road trip from St. Louis that brought me here. However, Las Vegas isn’t all fun and games, and I have a few things to say to the people of Las Vegas!

Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, stop signs are not optional.

I know that because no one else stops at stop signs, you think it’s okay to blast right through and nearly kill half a dozen people. Some of you flirt with the idea of slowing down, but let’s be real–that’s never going to happen. The sign says stop for a reason: Cars are coming from other directions, and you are likely to die or be injured if you continue acting like a moron and pretending the big red sign is nothing more than a warning label.

No, it is not okay to put on your emergency lights and park in the fire lane while you grocery shop.

I saw this happen today. As the woman in line at the checkout lane explained to all of the people she cut in front of, her car was parked right outside, still running, and she had to get back to it fast in case it got towed or stolen. I hope it did get towed or stolen, lady. Is your case of Bud Light really that important?

Stop abandoning your cats.

Three of them live in the sewer on my street. Alex and I tried to rescue one once, and it ended in tragedy for my faithful Corolla. Don’t adopt a pet if you are not 100% sure that you can care for it for its entire life. If by chance you are forced to give up your pet, why in the world would you turn it out of your house instead of taking it to a shelter?

Adopt a few Midwestern traits.

I enjoy the Southwest, I do, but I’m a Midwesterner at heart. In the Midwest, as my fellow Travelated blogger Rease pointed out, we do the following things: be on time, keep our word, say please and thank you, apologize for bumping into you, hold doors, stop at stop signs, and generally engage in other polite and considerate behaviors.

Keep calm and carry on.

Things will get better. Even if a moron is elected to Senate, even if no one ever stops at a stop sign again, even if feral cats take over the world, somehow things will get better. Don’t ask how. Just assume it to be true.

Emily is an ex-teacher, ex-obituary writer, and ex-yuppie. In her free time, she volunteers for the aviation charity Wings of Hope, writes children’s stories, and pretends like she knows how to use her fancy camera. Emily has lived all over the United States and France, and currently she resides in Las Vegas.