Geeking out: Ben Folds is my new BFF

It all started with a simple text: “Looks like you and Alex will be joining us at Ben Folds.” My friend was able to score Alex and me free tickets to the concert at The Cosmopolitan! When I read her text, I jumped up and down like a five year old who is about to blow out her birthday candles and dive headfirst into a plate full of cake.

Discount department store fashion meets high-class Vegas nightlife

I had only ever been in The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas once before, and it was a brief visit. This time around, Alex and I got there early to have time to hang out and get a feel for the place. As soon as I walked in from the parking garage, I felt underdressed and overweight. I was wearing a casual sundress and flat sandals, and everyone else seemed to be dressed to the nines in skin-tight mini dresses and five-inch heels. The Cosmopolitan definitely attracts a younger, hipper crowd than any other property on the Strip, and I couldn’t shake the out-of-place feeling all night. I’m only 27 and I am perfectly capable of fitting into that crowd, but that night I was wearing a cotton dress from JCPenney, and I felt like it.

Despite my wardrobe misgivings, I had an absolutely stellar night. We wandered around the casino floor, ambled down long hallways decorated with weird but awesome works of art, and sat in the strangest chairs I have ever seen. When our friends arrived, we met up at will call to pick up our tickets and then headed out to the Boulevard Pool, where Ben Folds would be playing.

Entering the concert was an experience–they put red wristbands on us after asking each of us our age. Alex was the only one who got carded, and even then they hardly believed he was 28. This happens often–when we first moved here and to get our drivers licenses, the guy at the DMV thought Alex was my son. I almost killed the man.

Feeling like a VIP

As we made our way in front of the stage, we saw Ben Folds’s opening act, a contestant from NBC’s a capella competition ‘The Sing Off’ named Kenton Chen, performing. He completely blew me away—he recorded and looped his voice live and then sang along to himself, Enya-style, only with better music. We stood looking up at him, mouths open, until a flash of purple to my right caught my eye—one of the girls in our group had gotten purple VIP wristbands, which would allow us into the upstairs part of the pool. After securing the wristband, we headed to the elevator. The view from the second level was amazing—seeing the Strip lit up from on high is truly an experience. The wind was blowing just perfectly, the view was spectacular, and the music was beautiful. I didn’t have too long to take it in, however, before one of the girls in our group got a text—we were needed downstairs, because we were going to do a meet and greet with Kenton Chen. Cool! We rushed down and got yet another wristband that let us go backstage.

My geek-out freak out

Only it wasn’t a meet and greet with Chen, as we thought—it was a meet and greet with Ben Folds! Holy $#!^. He came around the corner, looking all the world like the lovechild of Dwight Shrute and Garth from Wayne’s World, and started shaking hands and taking pictures. I think my jaw dropped. I full on started geeking out, squealing, and mindlessly embarrassing myself, and before I knew it, it was Alex’s and my turn to take a picture with him.

We shook his hand and posed for the camera. Alex has got at least a foot and a half on him, so Ben (I call him Ben now, because obviously we’re BFF) stood on his toes and jumped a little, which was kind of funny/adorable. Ben Folds look like the biggest nerd in the world who may or may not secretly be Austin Powers, but I don’t care. He is awesome.

Chillin’ in a cabana, Vegas style

After my geek-out episode, we left the backstage area and headed back upstairs to the VIP level, which was full of incredibly thin and tan women carrying little drinks and tottering in their heels. Whatever. We lounged in a cabana and listened as Ben Folds took the stage. We may have been the only people in the VIP area actually listening to the concert, as everyone else seemed very concerned with talking, drinking, and mingling, but I tuned them all out. That wasn’t very VIP of me, but let’s be honest—I proudly shop at Target. I’m not VIP material.

I nearly cried during ‘The Luckiest’ and ‘Brick,’ as I find those songs so emotionally powerful, and I laughed hysterically when Ben Folds took a few minutes to spontaneously come up with a song about the douchebags down on the Strip. There was a large screen projecting video of him for all the world to see, including the people walking the Strip, and he took great delight in flicking off the camera repeatedly for the viewing pleasure of all the tourists below.

Secret pizza!

The Cosmopolitan has a secret pizza place. That’s right, secret pizza. Most of our group had never experienced this joy, so we left the concert a few minutes early (I know, I know, bad form—but come on! Secret pizza!) to discover it. Two of the girls in our group knew exactly where to go and led us there. I won’t tell you where it is, either—part of the fun is in finding it! As I was still feeling residual self-loathing after being surrounded by thinner and prettier women for hours, I didn’t take down a slice, but I watched Alex’s face contort with pleasure as he devoured one. It cost $4.75 for once slice, and as he licked his lips he said it was worth every penny. The jerk.

Oh, we’ll be back.

The Cosmopolitan is definitely someplace I will visit again, albeit with a better outfit. When Rease comes to visit in September, we’ll definitely hit it up. The pool as a concert venue was perfect—there were pool tables and foosball tables to keep you occupied while waiting for the show, and the view of the Strip was second to none. The weather was unseasonably gorgeous, the music was amazing, and for the first time in my life, I felt like a VIP.

Emily is a recovering cubicle monkey, former obituary writer, and ex-yuppie. In her free time, she volunteers for Wings of Hope and pretends like she knows how to use her fancy camera. Emily has lived all over the United States and France and currently resides in Las Vegas. Her favorite place in the world is Isla Espiritu Santo in La Paz, Mexico.