Argentina: I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You
Featured, Laugh Rich. — By Rease K on January 16, 2012I left the US and moved to Buenos Aires, Argentina in June 2010. In 8 days, I will say goodbye to the place I have called home for the past year and a half. It is very incredibly bittersweet, but this article is not going to be about the sadness and difficulties of internationals moves or leaving home. In the past, I have spoke of Argentina as if it was my boyfriend, a living human I could get mad at and forgive, so for this article, I intend to keep it lighthearted and tell you some reasons why Argentina and I have to break up.
Argentina, why you gotta be such a gold digger?
Seriously, Argentina, I’ve heard of inflation but this shit is just ridiculous. In the past year and a half, your prices have skyrocketed. The only thing that seems to stay cheap in this country is wine. Don’t get me wrong, Argentina, I love the wine, I really, really do, but you have got to get your hands up out of my bank account. After spending 5 miserable months jumping through hoops to become a resident, I am still charged like a tourist. Not all Americans are rich and living off trust funds, and I can no longer afford to be treated as such.
Damn, Argentina, keep it in your pants!
I feel like you only think of one thing, Argentina! What happened to our love? I feel like an object in your eyes! All those men on the streets, licking their lips, blowing me loud kisses and shouting out ridiculous things and then getting offended when I send a sassy remark back at them. Need I even mention the horrible dating in Buenos Aires? I just want to walk to the grocery store without being verbally accosted and maybe encounter a man who doesn’t believe he is God’s gift to me.
Argentina, you need to get your shit together
Sometimes I think the things you ask me to do must be a joke, but I am almost always sadly mistaken. The mail system here is mind blowing. There are so many slips of paper, different offices to go to, and totally useless package searches. I don’t like being treated like a terrorist just because my last name is the same as the president’s or because my mom just happened to throw some Airheads candy into my care package without listing their full ingredients on the outside. And what about the all the scams and lies, especially the ones aimed at foreigners? Remember the Taxi Nazi? I certainly do. And what about those weird medical tests everyone has to do before starting to work. I also had to send a Quitting Telegram to formally quit my job here. Not an email, not a letter, but an actual telegram. I had to wait in line for 2 hours to send that worthless piece of paper. What is up with your crazy processes and rules, Argentina?!
Argentina, you a hot mess
I know I am no beauty queen but, damn, you need to clean yourself up. Littering is so common and acceptable here that it makes me sick. People buy a piece of candy and immediately throw the wrapper on the ground. No one picks up after their dogs and garbage is often just piled next to trees, left to rot and stink up their air that we all know is not so bueno. You have so much potential, you could be so incredibly beautiful, but you have really let yourself go.
This is an old rolled up mattress with a beer can on top, shoved into a giant hole in the street. This was outside my apartment one day.
Argentina, stop eating garbage
I know it is harsh to compare you to my ex, but seriously, the United States has food from almost every culture and it is all pretty freaking delicious. I know I don’t eat steak and that is supposed to be your most impressive dish, but that does not excuse some of the garbage you serve up. Flavorless pizza which is really more like cheese with some greasy bread bits? So called “salads” that are made completely of shredded carrots? Hot dogs that sit in hot water at a kiosko all day and then are covered with stale crispy “potato” things? Gross, Argentina. Your body deserves better than this.
But we had our good times..
I do love you, Argentina, I truly do. I will miss you dearly and may or may not drunkenly text you, telling you how much I miss your incredible ice cream, your comprehensive and affordable transportation system, and all those unforgettable nights we spent together until way past sunrise. I may even write poetry about our love. Hell, I already have. But it is time. I need to move on. Perhaps we shall meet again someday. I certainly hope so.
Rease is a US citizen who fled the Midwest in favor of ex-pat life in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She is bilingual and is very capable of cussing you out in Spanish. She loves gaining and sharing knowledge of local cultures, customs and adventure, and she especially loves getting sassy with anyone who gets in her way. Her favorite place in the world is any artisan ice cream shop in Argentina.
53 Comments
Amazing post Rease, you really hit everything. I’d forgotten about that damn telegram when resigning. It’s definitely a Love-Hate relationship when it comes to me and Buenos Aires too.
Jared Romey recently posted..Comment on The Harshest Argentine Insult by angeldedesierto
Hey, sorry to hear this though I can’t say you are really wrong on most of your comments
but I’d disagree on the food issue, you can find quality food here though it won’t necessary be cheap.
There is good food here but it is not as accessible as it should be. What I meant is the majority of food here, the common everyday stuff, is just not very good or healthy.
I LOVE this post. Sums up everything so well, I had forgotten how bad the dating scene was there. I only had one offer for a date from a yoga instructor that had a waist size half of mine…
North America will be good to us.
Ayngelina recently posted..My 49 Hour Eurail Adventure
Haha oh no, Latin Yoga Instructor? He probably thought he was not just God’s gift to you but Mother Earth’s as well.
I am excited about North America. Especially Mexico.
LOVE ME SOME SHREDDED CARROT SALAD
Jorge recently posted..Bedhead Melodies #3: The Magnetic Fields- “You’re My Only Home”
That is a lie. I have never seen you eat a salad.
You don’t have to be a jerk about it, sheesh
Jorge recently posted..Bedhead Melodies #3: The Magnetic Fields- “You’re My Only Home”
I would judge you harsher if you DID eat shredded carrot salad.
I’m Argentine and all that you say couldn’t be more true. Sometimes It’s so difficult to see reality when you’re too immersed in it. Makes me wonder how I will continue with my relationship with Argentina.
Congratulations
Argentina and I have definitely had our good and bad times! I wish you the best of luck!
I cannot believe you had to send a telegram to quit your job.
But I bet you’re going to miss being told you’re beautiful every time you walk down the street.
Stephanie – The Travel Chica recently posted..How To Survive a 28-Hour Bus Ride
Believe it!
I will NOT missed being told I am beautiful on the street by creepy men. I have a lovely Puerto Rican who can tell me I am beautiful in the comfort of my own home and without the snake-like hiss on “hermoosssaa”
Wow, that’s pretty crazy…I didn’t even know that ANY ever sent telegrams anymore!
Sky recently posted..Change of Plans
Only in Argentina, apparently! If only they were delivered by horse.
Telegrams… never knew about that. So, how do those telegram things work? You send one and they have some guy deliver it? Is that for to leave every job?
And if you get fired, do they send you a telegram too?
Rob, A Kiwi in Chile recently posted..New Year’s Eve Traditions in Chile
Honestly it just looked like a piece of paper. I gave them my work address and apparently they send it to them. I bet you get one if you are fired too.
Telegrams is just a regular letter that arrives in 24 hours, plus, a copy is stored by the government in case there are legal disputes later. It’s just a formal and lega letter, you are asked to present your Identification too.
If you spent two hours, that’s just because you went to a busy place. That happens a lot when you live in BA.
All your complaints, by the way, are only valid in Buenos Aires. The rest of the country lives very differently.
Oh, and a side not, I was almost made to undress when I was in a US airport, so talking about difficulties for food and vegetables that could introduce very harmful bacterias is just nonsense
Oh, trust me, this was not meant to be a “US is better” article. I broke up with the US once, I am sure it has not changed enough for me to think it is perfect either!
I love this post. Straight forward to the point. I hate to be charged much higher because I am a foreigner, because not all travelers have loads of $$…
Annie – FootTracker recently posted..Taiwan (9) Under The Tree @Fangyuan
Thank you! I have gotten in arguments with many people when they called me a rich American. When I tell them my family used to go to the church to get food they usually back off. I don’t mind paying extra for handmade crafts or someone selling fruit because they are likely struggling, but when it’s an asshole landlord or something, they will feel my wrath.
The telegram is insane! Don’t you love the foreign paperwork that sucks away hours of your life. The Germans were like that, every freaking thing had to be officially stamped at two or three offices. I wish you fun on your upcoming adventures!
Yeah sometimes the stuff they asked for was just comical. One time I brought my official photos to the migrations building, white background, looking to the side slightly as instructed and they told me that THAT morning they had changed it to a blue background, looking straight ahead. SERIOUSLY GUYS?!
You had to send a TELEGRAM?? What is this, 1870?
Christy @ Technosyncratic recently posted..The Best Travel Destinations in Southeast Asia?
I wished it was at least a singing telegram. That would have made it worth it.
Glad to read this. I visited BA for only a few days, and just didn’t feel it. I know I didn’t have enough time to explore the city, and am certainly not ready to write it off, but…meh. Thanks for this.
50+ and on the Run recently posted..Really? Betty White?
I think it is a city that is worth giving a shot and visiting, but I think the whole “paris of south america” rumour just sets you up for disappointment.
So sad to hear that you’re leaving BsAs on a such a sad note. There are so many f*cked up things about the city AND country, but for me at least the positives outweigh the negatives by soooo much! Wish you could have met a lovely Porteno while you were there.
Andi of My Beautiful Adventures recently posted..France & Italy With Trafalgar Tours: Day 6 (Part 4)
I will always hold a special place in my heart for Buenos Aires, I think I need to leave to keep some love for it. As for portenos, no gracias. I have myself a lovely Puerto Rican though
Ahhh, this is such a great post! There is so much truth in all of it.
So crazy that you had to send a telegram – I didn’t know those still existed!
Audrey | That Backpacker recently posted..Snapping Photographs
Thank you! I didn’t know they existed either. I wished it looked more old-timey though, it was just a stupid piece of paper.
Hilarious! I love posts that are honest, critical, and make me smile. I still think I may consider living there for awhile, but thanks for all the heads ups! The telegram was especially ridiculous.
Dayna recently posted..Reflections on Romania
I try to keep it real. Being an expat definitely allows you to see the city for what it really is. If you do decide to live in BA, please send me an email and I will help you out with housing, visas, oddities, etc.
Wow! I am surprised to read you are leaving Bs As. All places have their pros and cons. Sometimes is just not even the place itself, but the closing of a cycle… Just time to move on. Good Luck!
Natalia recently posted..HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Everyone is surprised! I have been here for what feels like so long. I will miss being here to meet up with travelers passing through and miss being a go-to person for the latest BA news and sights but like you said, sometimes it is just time.
Great post! Love your honesty. Sometimes it’s easy to be blinded by all the reasons you love a place, to the point where you kind of gloss over all the bad stuff.
Hopefully you can find a new place to fall in love with!
Amanda recently posted..My Night in Prison
Yeah, when I visited Argentina as a tourist I definitely forgave the flaws a lot more willingly.
This made me LOL! What a well-written and enjoyable read.
I had similar thoughts when I visited BA a couple years ago–for such a beautiful city people sure litter a lot.
MIchael Figueiredo recently posted..Meeting “America’s Travel Sweetheart,” Samantha Brown
Glad I made you laugh
I cannot get over the littering. I can accept that some things are just a cultural difference but trashing your home just makes no sense.
Love your honesty Rease. You definitely had a love-hate relationship there. Now you just have to deal with reverse culture shock of coming back to the US. Can’t wait for your pissed off post on all the things America does wrong!
Jeremy Branham recently posted..Learning my ABCs of travel
Love-hate for sure. I am sure I will have plenty to say about the US. Just thinking about the public transportation and public health care is getting me angry. I anger easily though, I am such a hater.
Love this article! You bravely listed all the things that overly picky Americans like me won’t miss from Buenos Aires. Why is the food so bland there? It’s beyond the point of being bland into being mind-blowingly bland.
I know why dog shit is everywhere, no problem there.
The people in BA have all this excess pride in themselves, and there is absolutely no justification for it. Nobody is particularly rich, beautiful or brilliant living there, but they’re trendy as fuck too.
Also you can’t buy ANYTHING of quality at a decent price. Nearly everything is 4th or 5th rate. New backpacks completely fall apart in a single month…
Aggtt!
Thanks! I like to keep it real. I am surprised because I never get any bad feedback from Argentines (other latins seem to get more upset, interestingly enough) about things I complain about in Argentina with the exception of the food. Most of them defend it. I guess it is just what your tastebuds are used to.
I bought shoes here once and the sole split open after about 3 months. I realized this when I stepped in a puddle and my sock got wet. WTF!
What a fantastically hilarious article. I’ve been in BA for four months now and routinely complain about everything you listed here. I know it won’t get better, and that I will either have to adapt or move one. So far though, I’m captivated by the adventure.
Franco recently posted..Punta Brasas
Thanks Franco! I had a great time in BA, complaints and all. No matter where you live, you are going to hate certain aspects. I know that a lot of my annoyances just stem from not being from here but it’s still frustrating and funny at times.
You had to send a telegraph!?! You have got to be kidding!
Jade – OurOyster.com recently posted..How Studying Abroad In Denmark Taught Me More About Myself Than About Statistics
Haha a telegram, but yes, it was quite humorous.
Probably more than 50% of Buenos Aires residents have been robbed or pick pocketed. Did you or any of your friends there experience this?
I was lucky enough to never be robbed or pick pocketed, but I definitely have a lot of friends who have.
…and, if you ever tried to ride a bike there, in BA, you will either be run over by a “colectivo”, have your bike stolen or be stopped by someone to rob you of your money…
I rode a bike here a few times and survived! I deserve a t-shirt or something.
I’m an argy and all you have said is very sad but true. HOWEVER, my country has a long list of good things, good food and beautiful places. Maybe you shouldn’t have stayed in BA all the time.
Agreed, Argentina has a lot to offer! I lived in Mendoza as well for a short time and also visited Rosario (which I adored), Cordoba, Santa Fe, Parana, Colon and Iguazu. Argentina will always feel like a second home to me.